Career Confidence for the Humble (Self-Advocacy at Work)

Career confidence for the humble

This blog follows another one, I wrote recently about the importance of self-advocacy at work.  It such an important topic as let's be honest: if you're reading this, the phrase "self-promotion" probably makes you cringe. You're not alone. Many of us were raised to believe that good work speaks for itself, that tooting your own horn is arrogant, and that if we just keep our heads down and do excellent work, someone will eventually notice.

Except... they often don't.

Here's the uncomfortable truth: advocating for yourself at work isn't optional if you want to progress in your career. But here's the better news: self-advocacy doesn't have to feel like self-promotion. There's a way to do it that feels authentic, humble, and actually quite comfortable once you reframe what it means.

Why Self-Advocacy Feels So Wrong (But Isn't)

If you hate self-promotion, you probably value humility, teamwork, and letting your work stand on its own merit. These are genuinely wonderful qualities. The problem is that in most workplaces, visibility matters as much as capability.

Your manager is juggling multiple team members, projects, and priorities. They're in back-to-back meetings. They don't see the extra hours you put in or the crisis you quietly averted last Tuesday. They're not deliberately overlooking you—they're just overwhelmed and human.

Self-advocacy isn't about bragging. It's about making sure the people who make decisions about your career have the information they need to make good ones. Think of it as being a helpful informant rather than a showoff.

Reframe: You're Not Bragging, You're Sharing Information

The first mental shift is crucial: stop thinking of self-advocacy as self-promotion. Instead, think of it as professional communication or transparency about your contributions.

When you update your manager on a project milestone, you're not bragging—you're keeping them informed. When you mention a skill you've developed, you're not boasting—you're helping them understand your capabilities so they can assign appropriate work. When you talk about your achievements in a review, you're not showing off—you're providing the data they need to advocate for your raise or promotion.

This isn't spin. It's genuinely what's happening. You're making their job easier by giving them visibility into your work.

Strategies That Feel Authentic (Not Icky)

1. Focus on Impact, Not Ego

Instead of: "I'm amazing at project management."

Try: "The new tracking system I implemented helped us deliver three projects on time this quarter."

The difference? You're sharing what happened and its impact on the team or organization. This feels less like bragging because it's objective and focuses on outcomes rather than personal superiority.

2. Make It About "We" When Appropriate

You don't have to pretend you did everything alone (please don't—people will know you're lying). Acknowledge team efforts while still being clear about your specific contribution.

"Our team exceeded our Q3 targets. I led the strategy redesign that helped us reach new customer segments, and Sarah's brilliant outreach campaign really drove those numbers home."

You've advocated for yourself while being generous to others. This is how confident, secure people communicate.

3. Create Regular Check-Ins

If the thought of scheduling a meeting to talk about yourself makes you queasy, build self-advocacy into existing structures. Use your one-on-ones to share brief updates on what you're working on and what you've accomplished since you last met.

This turns self-advocacy into routine communication rather than a Big Deal. Your manager will come to expect these updates, and you'll stop feeling like you're interrupting to brag.

4. Document As You Go

Keep a "wins folder" or running document where you note accomplishments, positive feedback, successful projects, and new skills throughout the year. Include dates, metrics, and specifics.

This serves two purposes: when it's time for your review or a promotion conversation, you have concrete examples at your fingertips. More importantly, it makes self-advocacy feel less like boasting because you're literally just reading facts.

5. Ask Questions Instead of Making Statements

Sometimes framing things as curiosity rather than declarations feels more comfortable:

"I've been wondering about opportunities to take on more strategic projects. Given my work on X and Y, what kinds of responsibilities might be a good next step for me?"

This opens a conversation about your growth without requiring you to declare "I'm ready for a promotion."

6. Share Credit Publicly, Take Credit Privately

In team meetings and public forums, be generous with credit. Celebrate others' contributions. This builds goodwill and shows leadership.

But in private conversations with your manager or during performance reviews, be clear about your specific role and contributions. The two approaches aren't contradictory—they serve different purposes.

7. Advocate for What You Want, Not Just What You've Done

Self-advocacy isn't only about past achievements. It's also about making your goals and interests clear.

"I'm really interested in developing my skills in data analysis. Are there upcoming projects where I could take a more active role in that area?"

You're not demanding or presuming—you're expressing genuine interest and making it possible for opportunities to come your way.

What to Do When You're Genuinely Overlooked

Sometimes, despite your best efforts, you're passed over for a promotion or opportunity you deserved. This is gutting, especially if you finally worked up the courage to advocate for yourself.

Here's what to do:

Ask for specific feedback. "I'm disappointed I wasn't selected for this role. Can you help me understand what skills or experience I should focus on developing?" This shows maturity and gives you actionable information.

Be direct about your disappointment—professionally. "I want to be honest that I'm disappointed. I was excited about this opportunity and had been preparing for increased responsibility." You can express genuine emotion while remaining professional.

Create a plan together. "What would make me a strong candidate next time a similar opportunity arises? Can we outline specific goals?"

This shows you're not giving up, and it puts your manager on notice that you're serious about advancement.

Remember: Humble People Can Still Advocate

Some of the most effective self-advocates are deeply humble people. They're just honest about their work and clear about their goals. They don't exaggerate or put others down. They simply refuse to hide.

Humility isn't about making yourself small. It's about having an accurate sense of your strengths and weaknesses—and being willing to acknowledge both.

If you're good at something, saying so isn't arrogance. It's accuracy. If you want something, asking for it isn't presumptuous. It's honest.

The most confident people aren't the loudest or the most self-promotional. They're the ones who know their value and can communicate it clearly without apology or exaggeration.

You can be one of them. You probably already are—you just need to let other people in on the secret.

Your challenge this week: Share one accomplishment with your manager that you would normally have kept to yourself. Just one. Notice how the world doesn't end, and how it gets slightly easier each time.

You've got this.